It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

It is, isn’t it? It seems like something just clicks inside of me and my “Christmas Spirit” is released upon the Earth. I sometimes wish I could always feel the way I do at the end of the year. I don’t know if it’s all the cozy decorations. I don’t know if it’s the Christmas songs and rejoicing of the baby Jesus. I don’t know if it’s the kinder spirited people that are around me. I have honestly not been able to figure this out. I feel more at ease, calm, comfortable even. It’s supposed to be the most frantic and hectic time of year, right? Nope. It doesn’t have to be that way. Maybe it’s because I’m a diagnosed bipolar, my mood just completely flips and I’m more tolerable, I guess. Whatever it is, I like this me. I want more of this me. The one who is dancing and singing with my son in the living room. The one who is putting on the pot of coffee, making cheesy eggs for Eddie, and popping a bagel in the toaster. The one who is constantly doing and feeling accomplished, but knows when to take a break and spend quality time with our son. The one who has an hour of story time and Eddie excitedly picks one book after the other, eyes beaming at me and holding my hand as he turns the next page. This is the woman I love. This is the me I always want to be. I’m going to make a little vow to myself here and now. Betsy, you are good, kind hearted, and a damn good mother and wife. You be you and let no one take that happiness away from you. You’ve got this, you know you do.

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